Independent Woman Syndrome (IWS)

Why has it never been okay to just be an independent woman?

Society has made the single hardworking woman the big booty Judy of the joke for so long. Before we get in too deep this time around, if the phrase “independent woman” offends you, tickles you, or rifles your feathers find another blog post because this one clearly isn’t for you.

This is especially true for the Single Black Independent Woman. If you do not believe me, type it into our popular friend Google’s search bar and tell me you do not see a meme or caricature of Great America’s version of the Single Black Independent Woman.

Don’t worry…I’ll be right here when you get back!

I can even do you one better and show you something I found during my research. Take a moment of silence and a deep breath because what I might show you next…just might be triggering.

I don’t know what is more problematic in our world today, this imagery or the fact we must insert strong in front of it. Not only as a woman, but a Black woman, it goes without saying we are strong. We bring life into this world after nine months of pregnancy! Now, I want to say my words carefully because I know how people do. I do not identify as a feminist, but I am wholeheartedly an advocate for women’s rights.

Feminism is not all that we hype it up to be especially when it becomes synonymous with the wants and needs of white women. White women tears have gone on to rule the world, with Beyoncé’s “Run the World (girls)” fading off into the background. We still have a long way to go when it comes to this movement quote unquote for “all women.”

As a gender, we have come along way, but man, do we have a long journey to go. I cannot stress this enough.

We have all been afflicted by the Independent Woman Syndrome (IWS) at one point or another, but who says it’s completely all wrong?

The Independent Woman is one of America’s or should I say society’s latest opposition. This is not new of course…it’s just becoming more and more popular by the day. The Independent Woman is a term I wear with a badge of honor.

This is a community I subscribe to under the subgroup for the Black woman.

This community has been an interesting one, I’ll tell you that. The Independent Woman comes in all shapes, sizes, races, faces, and other forms. We range in tax brackets, come with kids or no kids, man or no man, woman or no woman, and everything else in between. Most importantly, we do not always agree within the community just like any other community we all have our flaws.

Being an independent single Black woman, has been a ride like no other, an experience I would not trade for anything.

There are so many stereotypes, jokes, and nonsense that we have been subjected to.

Regardless of what they say, I love being independent. I like having my own everything. I hate to rely on anyone for a favor or something I may need and want. Dependency is overrated.

Me…be someone’s dependent?

The last time I was a dependent, I was just starting out in college!

Now, the biggest myth of all time or misconception is that independence means we don’t need men. We don’t need one, but we want one. Even the loudest woman shouting the statement she doesn’t need one, wants one…believe me on that! Just like they say the loud drunk guy…you know the one you might seeing being obnoxious maybe standing on the couch at a party or club? Yeah, that one! He is hyping himself up and his friends are gassing him up something vicious right?

He is empty inside or just trying to draw attention to himself because he just isn’t that confident or secure with himself. These two characters are one in the same. Just because the genders are different does not mean it is not the same sentiment.

In my twenty-five years of life being an independent woman has humbled and grounded me in many aspects of my life.

The reason we are made the butt of this joke so often is because society just does not know how to “handle” us properly. Men get intimidated turning themselves into boys, insecure women are threatened, and America simply just wants us to be quiet little homemakers who only speak when spoken to or take orders.

Time may have progressed, but society has yet to catch up.

I love me and no one can change that.

Of course…I have my flaws, but then again who doesn’t?

IWS or The Independent Woman Syndrome is just a way for us women who know what we want out of life to be shut out, isolated from society, and submit to the status quo.

Of course I want a man, but does a man want me? Does a man understand I am the table? Can a man stand alongside me as my life partner and be secure?

Well, how about we all just lock in and stay tuned.

It is important as humans to all have some level of independence. No one wants to be around a leech, mooch, or dead weight. I know I do not!

In other words, no one likes a user who cannot or will not do something to help themselves, but always got their hand out.

I love to be around people where the energy is beneficial and the air smells like fresh opportunity.

So maybe, just maybe the next time you experience a independent woman, you do not write her off as a “know it all, do it all” and better yet you nod your head in respect with a glass of champagne raised (because that’s what REAL Bosses do!) when you see Her.